What Therapy Is (and Isn’t)

Clearing the Fog Around Therapy

Therapy can sometimes feel mysterious from the outside. Maybe you’ve seen it in films or read about it in books: the quiet room, the long couch, the therapist scribbling in a notebook sitting opposite a Hannibal Lecter-type character or someone in a facility after being arrested for some serial crime. For many, those images raise more questions than answers.

So, what actually is therapy? And just as importantly, what isn’t it?

I have never sat locked up behind bars/large metal doors in that kind of environment talking to people, ok well, I have, a lot, but that's another story and blog. But I have never been in that environment for counselling.

Therapy Is a Space, Not a Script

Therapy isn’t about following a script or ticking boxes. It’s a space where you can bring your whole self messy, uncertain, thoughtful, hopeful, hurting, curious, basically however you are on that day.

It’s not about doing it “right”. It’s about having a place where you don’t have to edit yourself.

Therapy Isn’t About Being “Fixed”

One of the biggest myths is that therapy is only for people who are “broken.” But you don’t have to be in crisis to come to therapy. People come for all sorts of reasons: feeling stuck, wanting clarity, making sense of relationships, healing past hurts, or simply wanting a space that’s just for them.

Think of it like tending to a garden. You don't wait for the entire plot to turn to dust before you check the soil. 

Therapy isn’t about someone else swooping in to fix you. It’s about support, reflection, and gentle encouragement as you find your own way forward. Creating tools to fix yourself, a bit like flatpack furniture, but with better instructions and someone to hold the other end of the shelf while you screw it in.

Therapy Is Being Heard (Deeply)

How often in everyday life do you feel truly heard? Without interruption, without advice, without someone jumping in with their own story?

At its heart, therapy is about being listened to in a way that helps you listen to yourself. It’s a space of attention, curiosity, and compassion. That can be surprisingly powerful; sometimes the act of being heard helps untangle things more than any “technique.”

Therapy Isn’t Always Comfortable

Therapy isn’t a quick fix (again, I apologise; I know that’s a disappointing comment) and it isn’t always easy. Sometimes it means sitting with uncomfortable truths, revisiting painful experiences, or allowing feelings you’ve held back. But it’s a supported discomfort; you don’t go there alone and we only go there when you feel ready enough to.

The "Biological Frictiof Discomfort.

Therapy can be uncomfortable because we are often asking our nervous systems to do something new. Like a seed pushing through frozen soil, it takes effort and a bit of friction to break the old shells of our habits. But you don't do that pushing alone.

The goal isn’t to avoid difficulty but to meet it with kindness, understanding, and choice.

Therapy Is About Relationship

Research shows that one of the most healing parts of therapy is the relationship itself, not just the method or model used.

That’s why finding the right therapist matters. You don’t have to “click” with the first person you meet. Therapy works best when you feel safe, understood, and able to show up as yourself.

Therapy Isn’t a One-Size-Fits-All

There isn’t one “correct” way to do therapy. Some people prefer the quiet focus of sitting in a room. Others find it easier walking side by side outdoors. Some feel most comfortable connecting online or over the phone.

Therapy can adapt to you your pace, your needs, your way of expressing yourself.

Therapy Is Yours

More than anything, therapy is yours. Your time, your space, your journey. It’s not about what the therapist wants for you it’s about what feels meaningful and useful for you.

You set the direction. The therapist is there to walk alongside you, offer reflections, and hold the space while you explore.

A Gentle Takeaway

Therapy isn’t mysterious or magical, though it can sometimes feel that way in the best sense. It’s not about fixing, moulding, or diagnosing you. It’s about listening, noticing, and walking with you as you make sense of your own story.

Whether you’re struggling, curious, or simply in need of a space that’s fully yours, therapy can offer that.

And maybe, that’s enough.