April: Sowing Seeds vs. Forcing Blooms
Why you can’t pull a leaf to make it grow faster.
Welcome to April. In Norfolk, the hedgerows are starting to wake up, but they aren’t exactly rushing. They don’t have a "to-do" list or a deadline. They just wait for the right climate.
In my therapy room (and out on the path), I see a lot of people trying to force their own bloom. We live in a world of "10 Tips to Fix Your Anxiety" and "How to Change Your Life in 30 Days." We’ve become obsessed with the harvest, but we’ve forgotten how to be the soil.
The "Shambles" of Forced Growth
When we are in a "shambles" of anxiety or burnout, our instinct is to pull at the leaves. We try to force ourselves to be "better", "calmer", or "more productive".
But have you ever tried to pull a leaf to make it grow faster? All you do is snap the stem. Anxiety doesn’t settle because you told it to. It settles because the climate changed.
Therapy as a "Climate" Shift
In person-centred therapy, we aren't "fixing" you like a broken machine. We are creating the right conditions, the right sunlight, the right space, and the right soil so that your natural growth can happen at its own pace.
Here is what that climate looks like:
Empathy (The Sun): Being seen and heard without judgement.
Congruence (The Soil): Being real about where you are, even if it’s messy.
Acceptance (The Rain): Allowing the difficult emotions to wash through rather than bottling them up.
The Roots of Your Resilience
Growing at your own pace isn't about being "slow"; it’s about honouring the strength you’ve already shown. When you look back, you’ll see moments where you were convinced you wouldn't make it through.
You have survived 100% of the hardest days of your life so far. You’ve survived the days when the climate was freezing and the ground felt like stone. That resilience wasn't forced; it was grown in the dark. If you survived those winters, you can trust yourself to navigate this spring.
A Seasoned Soul Reminder
If you feel like you aren't "blooming" as fast as the person next to you, remember this: The oak tree doesn't compete with the daffodil. You aren't "behind. You are just in your own season.
Stop pulling at your leaves. Take a deep breath. Back yourself for just one decision today the decision to let yourself grow at your own pace.